In many ways I wish I could muster up the will power to not write articles such as the one below.  Some of you may not like me if and when you finish reading it. I apologize in advance.  It is not meant to be cruel, only to provoke thought.

I have never been very good at going with the flow.  I’m not one to say “isn’t that terrible, I am so glad there are people doing something about it“ and accept that and move on.  I suppose if  everyone agrees that there aren’t any more valid thoughts on the subject, then there mustn’t be anything more to say on that subject….right?   Well!

Today’s post is not about accepting bullies.  I rarely use the word hate, but bullies come the closest to earning that term in my vocabulary.  Bullying has existed a long time but that does not mean we have to accept it now. The problem I have is  when all of our efforts go into to stopping bullies, and none go into preparing our children for the real world.  I do fear that I am seeing a weak and troubled generation being produced.

There were bullies when I was young.  There were bullies in my parents generation, in their parents generation, in their parents generation, and on and on.  That does not mean that they should be accepted.

I was bullied when I was a child.  I usually won bullies over with a sense of humor.  Should I have had to do that?  Certainly not! The tools I learned by using humor to prevail, did however serve me well throughout my life. Youth is about learning lessons. Only once in my life did I come to my father about a bigger kid that would not leave me alone. The kid embarrassed me many times and on two occasions bruised me.  The embarrassment was worse than the bruises.  I just couldn’t win him over with humor.  My dad was a loving and supportive father, who would defend his children when he thought it appropriate.  He asked me if I knew what a “right cross” was.  I said I did.  He said “maybe it’s time to use it“.  He needed to say no more. It wasn’t that he wanted me to fight, he wanted me to learn something.  I used my right cross and Tom became one of my best friends at Starbuck Jr. High School.  The funny thing about bullies is that when you don’t let them win, they cease to bully. I am sure there have been more bullies in my life since that day, the memories however, are quite vague.  That’s because they became increasingly insignificant to me.  They were not worthy of my time and thought. I am not condoning fighting, I am just saying that my father knew that often in your life, there will be bullies.  You can’t shield your children from everything, and sometimes the hard lessons you learn in youth, serve you well in adulthood.  Growing up is never easy.

I should add that I did not beat up Tom. What I did do is show Tom that he didn’t have what it takes to beat (or bully) me. When it was over I am sure I looked worse than he did, but he was the one who quit, because he realized that he would never again get a free pass to bully me.

I’ll mention again that I am not suggesting adults should do nothing about bullies. I am however saying we are developing a new generation who aren’t being taught how to deal with life’s troubles.  Today’s generation is indeed learning from the rest of us. Too many children think that it is “societies” job to protect them from every pain.  The trouble is that the pain will come, regardless of and sometimes because of society.  We are promoting a generation of kids who feel the need to kill their classmates because their girlfriend dumped them, or because the big kids in school bullied them.  They have never been taught to deal with disappointment.  Then there are the children who come here to live in a better land and are given the privilege to enjoy the fruits of success, only to plant bombs and murder innocents because of failures that are microscopic in the grand scheme of life.  There’s nothing more important in life than knowing how to win….well….except….knowing how to lose.

Maybe someday bullying will go out of style. I hope so. I admit that I do not wonder why there are so many bullies nearly as much as I worry about a generation that cannot deal with them.

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Throughout history you can read the written words of every generation as they complain about the next generation.  They ask themselves what is wrong with them?  Those darn kids today! Is it possible that every new group is worse than the last?  I don’t have the answer to that but I do know one thing, each generation is responsible for the changes that occur in the next.  The good and the bad. 

Thank you,                                                                                                                                             Wayne